In our society, we are envious and envy, in turn. Why? We owe so much value to status and financial achievements, and we forget that what we need in the first place is inner peace and self-esteem.
Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.
In this article, I explain how envy manifests, the causes that lead to its appearance, and how you can overcome it and not poison your life.
WHAT IS ENVY, AND HOW IT MANIFESTS?
Envy appears, in most cases, as a comparison by which you become aware of your flaws, a fact generated by each individual’s inferiority and low esteem.
It is a complex, hidden, involuntary, destructive emotion, because of which, you forget that you are the only protagonist of your life, and you adopt the image of the victim, wasting your time in following others.
Envy is manifested first at the mental level and then at the behavioral level and appears in the immediate environment: family, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues, and can be for a job, a car, a house, a partner, or someone’s physical appearance.
People who envy do not appreciate or enjoy what they have in their lives, permanently wanting what others have, generating psychological changes: frustration, anger, fear, worry, and anxiety.
THE FOUR CATEGORIES OF ENVY
DEPRESSIVE ENVY
This is characterized by the fact that the person in question faints with envy and avoids interaction with the envious person.
HOSTILE ENVY
This is characterized by the fact that the person in question manifests envy through rivalry, defamation, criticism, and domination over the envied person.
ADMIRABLE ENVY
It appears in rarer situations and can be considered the antidote to envy. The person in question dares to congratulate the envied person for success and sees it as a favorable situation to push himself toward reaching his performance standards.
PATHOLOGICAL ENVY
In the most challenging cases, envy begins to dominate, generating intense suffering and depression, which, if not kept under professional control, causes violent actions.
THE CAUSES OF THE APPEARANCE OF ENVY
- Envy is related to inner doubts and experiences from the past. It may be a persistent feeling from childhood or adolescence associated with a low level of Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence. In this case, the envied person becomes a rival or competitor.
- Another cause is the competitive environment in which high efficiency is required.
- Own personality generated by narcissism, perfectionism, and Self-Centered.
- Social networks can constantly generate envy. The people in question feel dissatisfied with their lives after visiting other profiles in the network.
- Envy can appear in a stage of vulnerability.
- Lack of own goals is another reason that leads to envy. When no personal purpose is set or dissatisfaction with one’s progress, frustration arises, and one quickly falls into an envious trap.
- Envy does not only occur in adults, but it is also common in children. There are significant possibilities for children to become envious if their parents develop emotions of envy in different circumstances.
OVERCOMING ENVY
- Envy should not be denied or ignored. Awareness and acknowledging that envy exists are the first steps in solving your shortcomings.
- By establishing personal goals and reaching them in life, you are no longer envious, and you even enjoy the success of others.
- You have to analyze your thoughts of inferiority to determine the cause of their existence.
- You can free yourself from envy by externalizing it through humor, not hostility.
- Find a creative purpose and not a material one. This way, you will be involved in personal progress, not others.
- You must be grateful for how you are (each unique and talented in its own way) and what you have (your life is valid and essential). It would be best if you lived your own life and not the life of others.
- Turn it into a healthy and motivational envy. The success of others can be an inspiration to you. It is better to admire than to envy, but it is up to you whether you use it to your advantage or disadvantage.
- You need to look at the overall image from the perspective of reality. Nobody has everything they want. If you want something from others, others might want something from you. Give yourself value! It would be best to focus on your existence and not the others.
The only person you have to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday!
You can see the whole process and personal progress by comparing with yourself.
- Surround yourself with people who appreciate gratitude and positive people who love you and bring joy to your soul.
- Be generous, show your kindness, and give the world your time, talent, skills, and knowledge. Help those less fortunate; you will find soul fulfillment and overcome envy.
🚨 ACCEPT PROFESSIONAL HELP IN CASE OF PATHOLOGICAL ENVY!
BOTTOM LINE
You do not see the person that you are envious of. You see a mirror that reflects what you find lacking in yourself. Paying attention to this can be very instructional. We often despise in others what we wish we could find in ourselves.
Thank you for reading the article. Feel free to share your envy story with us in the comment below. Spread the information, some love, and positive vibes.
Till next time…
Live A Life With Contentment and Gratitude!
Founder of Dare & Be.
Contact: support@dareandbe.com
Envy runs deep in female friendship and sisterhood. I’ve been the victim of hostile envy back in my school days and I have a strong sense that it’s happening at my workplace as well. It creates a very uneasy feeling. You don’t know what you’ve done wrong to upset the other party and they don’t give you a clear sign on how to mend the so-called ‘mistakes’. I feel pretty powerless with the situation and it’s actually one of the reasons why I want to quit my job as soon as possible.
Hi Cathy,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I can imagine how you feel, I ‘ve been in the same situation, but in my case, the situation has taken a positive turn. You need to understand that you can not please everyone and especially you should not let their behavior influence you. I hope the situation will turn around, in a positive way, for you as well. All the best.
First of all thank you so much for sharing such an excellent article with us .Envy is one of the things that can end life .I think envy should be avoided to maintain inner peace and improvement of life, and since we live in society, envy should be avoided in order to have compassion for one another. Due to extreme depression and hostile environment I also had envy at one time but I avoided it and followed some tips. Personal success and awareness helped me to get out of the envy and I was inspired by enjoying the lives of others .Find a creative purpose and consider the enemy a friend .It is much better to be praised than envy because it is possible to change people and I have been able to express my talent and have been able to achieve success in life.
Finally I hope that by reading your article, everyone will get some great tips on how to overcome envy and share their new experiences with you.
Hi Shanta,
I appreciate your opinion, and I must say I am agree with you. Always the personal success and Self-Awareness will keep us away of envy. Thank you for stopping by.
without doubts I applaud this great article. I have really learned more on envy and I can also testify I have been a part this some years back. I do envy my friend due to the fact he’s given more attention than I do, but this article has taught me alot more. I deeply appreciate you for posting such an amazing article and I’m definitely gonna share this on social media so people can learn more. Thank you
Hi Perryline,
Good to know that my article is so appreciated by you, and that it has given you a new perspective on seeing things in terms of envy. Thank you for stopping by.
I’ve never realy been an envious person. As a kid was when this most reflected in my personality but even then very little, yes I’d like to have the super nintendo my class mate just got for Christmas, but I wouldn’t treat him unfairily just because he had one and I didn’t. But I know this is an issue, and I think especially for kids, and you did write an interesting article about it so thank you for that, there’s definitely much more to it than I ever thought!
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing with us your experience. Envy is a very complex topic, which must be understood in order to be overcome.