No one likes to be around someone who lacks self-confidence, and more than that, it’s hard to attract success in all aspects of life without believing in yourself.
It can have a negative effect on your mental health, social life, career decisions, and much more. If you are one of the people who lack self-confidence, then this article will show you how to build self-confidence with 10 simple tips that will work wonders for you.
But before debating the topic of the article, let’s see what self-confidence is and why it has a significant impact in our lives.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- 1 WHAT IS SELF-CONFIDENCE AND WHY IT IS IMPORTANT
- 2 A JOURNEY TOWARD A MORE CONFIDENT YOU!
- 2.1 ADJUSTS YOUR PHYSIOLOGY
- 2.2 HAVE YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS
- 2.3 IMPROVE YOUR INNER DIALOG
- 2.4 IMAGINE YOUR CONFIDENT FUTURE SELF
- 2.5 USE THE POWER OF SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES
- 2.6 BE THE PUZZLE PIECE OF THE WORLD AROUND YOU
- 2.7 DEVELOPE A GROWTH MINDSET
- 2.8 LEARN FROM CONFIDENT ROLE MODELS
- 2.9 ACT YOUR CONFIDENCE
- 2.10 RECALL THE TIMES OF GLORY AND BE AGAIN THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SHIP
- 3 FINAL THOUGHTS…
WHAT IS SELF-CONFIDENCE AND WHY IT IS IMPORTANT
Self-confidence is a key component, one of the six important facets of emotional intelligence, and can be described as a correlation between self-beliefs (one’s ability or judgment) and the expectation of others.
Studies have shown that people with high self-confidence are more persuasive, better equipped to confidently pursue their goals, and to handle challenges in life such as work deadlines, public speaking skills, or making decisions that require risk- taking.
On the other hand, people with a lack of self-confidence think that they are not good enough, and they are excessively critical of themselves, facts that lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame.
As a result, they have limitations in taking risks or pursuing their goals just for fear of failure. This leads to an unhealthy cycle that pushes them further into the abyss of mistrust.
A JOURNEY TOWARD A MORE CONFIDENT YOU!
Self-confidence is a skill that can be trained, honed, and mastered, and sometimes all you need is just a little push to start.
Easily increase your self-confidence with our 10 tips and be proud of who you are, no matter what flaws you see in the mirror.
ADJUSTS YOUR PHYSIOLOGY
The mirror is not known for being kind when it comes to making people feel good about themselves. It’s designed to show you what you look like in all the most unflattering ways possible.
A recent study found that women with low self-confidence spend an average of 5 minutes in front of the mirror every time they are getting ready before going out, whereas women with high self-confidence spend an average of only 2 minutes in front of the mirror.
The simple key to producing a powerful state of self-confidence is to make subtle adjustments to your posture.
• Square your shoulders, and let them fall down and back.
• Pull your chest up, and keep your spine straight
• Hold your head and look up
• Adjust your facial muscles
• Keep your chin up parallel with the floor
• Let the weight of your body fall towards the ground.
Put a big smile on your face, and you are ready to go.
Give it a try! Put yourself in a confident posture, and you will see how a simple shift in your physiology will make all the difference whenever needed.
HAVE YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS
We all know the feeling of having no confidence in ourselves no matter how successful we are.
That self-confidence that seems to leave us completely at certain moments, maybe when we have a very important meeting or presentation, a hot date, a speech to hold, or a confrontation with our boss.
If we have complete confidence in one area of our lives, we may not have it in others. Unfortunately we are not born with self-confidence, but we have the power to learn to master it, and to have it literally at our fingertips.
And here comes into play for an instant fix, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), which is known as a form of psychotherapy that focuses on modifying thoughts, feelings and behavior to improve mental health and well-being.
That is why, many people turn to NLP as a way to help them with their confidence levels.
While studying NLP, I was surprised to see that the stereotype known to most, that of doing therapy and providing solution only in the long run, is no longer valid, and an instant solution can be available to anyone.
The NLP technique can be that solution for you.
It takes a holistic approach to self-confidence, and provides a “confidence anchor” that could be a simple gesture, or an object, that you will associate with feeling confident.
But it should be something that is always with you, or you can access it whenever you need to feel confident, and to elevate your performance.
Let’s try now. We will create a confident anchor based on a simple but powerful gesture. The simplicity of this exercise has fascinated me, and putting it into practice has had an even greater impact.
Let’s get started!
• Close your eyes if you wish to make the experience more vivid.
• Bring to mind a real memory when you felt completely at peace with yourself. Calm, relaxed, satisfied, with no worries or anxious.
• Lose yourself in that moment, and make it all clear as much as you can, as you were back there.
• Intensify the feeling by putting you back inside of your own body in the memory, as you see, hear, feel, through your all senses.
• Give the necessary time to see with the eyes of mind the whole image, not as a witness, but living in memory.
• Once you do that, you notice that the feeling of being at peace becomes almost real.
• Breath calm confidence, and when you are at the peak of that intense feeling, squize the tips of your left thumb and index finger together and held about 3 seconds. 3…2…1…
• Now release your finger and thumb, and open your eyes.
What you just did was to create an NLP anchor, and you should feel an echo of that peaceful feeling in your body. Being in peace with yourself is confidence, and this can be your secret weapon to use every time you need a dose of it.
IMPROVE YOUR INNER DIALOG
We all have an inner dialog as we think about things, whether we are aware of it or not. It’s the voice in our head, the companion that can be our best friend or worst enemy. This voice is also called self-talk, and it plays a major role in our quality of life.
Negative self-talk is common for people with low self-esteem and confidence, which has an effect on their careers, friendships, relationships and overall happiness.
But this dialog does not have to be a negative one. You can talk back to the negative thoughts in your mind, so they don’t take over. With self-talk you can create your own positive thoughts about who you are and what you want out of life.
It is important that these thoughts are things that align with your values and beliefs in order for them to work effectively. Your thoughts influence your beliefs, and your beliefs influence your actions.
I know it is not easy to switch from negative thoughts to positive ones, that is why I am going to tell you a simple trick that I also suggest in controlling anger.
You can use a physical cue, a rubber band, which you can wear permanently around your wrist. Every time an unwanted thought invades your mind, pull on the rubber band and then release it to tap your wrist gently, but to feel that snaps.
This simple gesture sends a message to your unconscious mind, as an awakening from the negative thought to the present moment. And now is the best time to replace it with a positive thought.
You certainly have people around you who are constantly telling you that you can’t do it. Why not be the one to tell you that you can!
IMAGINE YOUR CONFIDENT FUTURE SELF
Imagination can be a powerful mental trigger in self-development, especially when it is positive and empowering.
Imagining being in the future and being confident about who you are, gives you a sense of control, and help you to see your potential when you are feel low on confidence.
The more often you imagine your future self as you want to be, the sooner it will become reality.
This mental trigger is also used by companies employees, athletes, and self-helpers to increase motivation and self-confidence in them and in others.
Why not use it for yourself?
Now, I want you to imagine…
What would your confident future self would say to you right now?
What has happened to make your future self so confident?
How did your future self get there?
Your confident future self is just an idea for what could be possible for you in the future, and maybe the answer is already inside of you.
As a child, you likely dreamed of becoming a princess or superhero. As an adult, you sometimes tell yourself that you are not good enough to become the person you would like to be.
But what if you could just imagine your future self and then take it from there?
Imagine that confident and happy future person and then let he/she inspire and motivate you to do the things that will help you get wherever you want.
USE THE POWER OF SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES
As you have seen so far, there are many ways to build or improve your self-confidence. One of them includes positive affirmations, that train your brain and help you encourage yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs.
They boost self-confidence and self-esteem by repeating particular phrases or words that have a positive meaning.
Words have power in your subconscious brain which means that when you speak them out loud they start generating vibrations in your mouth and throat area, eventually making their way down to the brain where they are stored.
Affirmations usually take the form of “I am confident!”, ” I can do it!”, or “I am beautiful inside and out!”, which repeated over the long term, creates subconscious changes in your mind.
But there is a technique that can make the use of positive affirmations even more effective, and especially in a short amount of time.
I am talking about subliminal messages that are designed in such a way that the message is processed automatically in the subconscious mind without an additional effort on your part.
This makes it easier to change your mindsets, to give you new perspectives without making a conscious effort.
Subliminal messages are typically delivered by means of audio recordings that contain phrases that are spoken at a low volume (or behind music) and repeated many times.
These covert messages can be played in the night while you sleep, in the background while you work, or in the morning when you wake up to help you start your day with a positive and confident attitude.
If you are interested about the topic, you can find out more details in this article Real Subliminal Overwrite Your Beliefs
BE THE PUZZLE PIECE OF THE WORLD AROUND YOU
It has been proven that social activities build up self-confidence, that is why, it is important to take time out of your day to interact more with other people socially.
It will not only increase your self-confidence but it will also make you realize that you are not alone in your insecurities, and that people actually care about you.
There are many social activities that you can partake, and you should find out which ones you enjoy doing the most and focus on them.
Maybe you like to:
• Attend lectures or take part in cultural events.
• Join a club or partake in an activity that you are interested in.
• Participate in group activities with friends or family members.
• Play sports and do physical activities.
• Practice gratitude.
When you exercise, especially with friends, it increases self-confidence and overall well-being by releasing endorphins into the body which make you feel better about who you are. Not to mention about improving your physical appearance.
If you want to be part of something bigger than yourself, to make a difference in your life, then you should volunteer.
Volunteering offers many benefits which include giving back and building relationships with like-minded individuals. It is an excellent way to feel like you have made a meaningful contribution in your local area, and to the world around you.
DEVELOPE A GROWTH MINDSET
Self-confidence is a slippery thing to grasp. It can be a fleeting feeling, and it can also be a long-term mindset.
The way you think about your capabilities affects how you do in life. The more you believe that your limitations are carved in stone, the less likely you are to explore a variety of opportunities and new ways of thinking.
This is generally the case for people with a “fixed mindset” which tend to be more conservative and self-protective.
They believe that they have only a set of skills that cannot be changed, which is why they avoid challenges and new situations that might threaten their sense of being smart of capable. For them, the difficulties are signs of flaws or inadequacy.
In contrast, those with a “growth mentality” believe that their talents, abilities, intelligence and personality can be developed or changed over time through the use of strategies such as education and work experience.
They see challenges as new opportunities for learning, improving or developing new skills, so they engage in new tasks willingly.
Growth mindset is not only possible, but also necessary for all people who want to live life with a well-defined purpose, and to achieve their goals with full confidence.
Which one are you?
It is the time to reconsider your approach to building self-confidence if you are not already in the group of people with “growth mindset”.
Keep your mind active, stretch your skills, learn something new, read self-help books, take online courses on a desired topic, learn about life hacks on youtube, or listen self-development podcasts.
These are just a few examples, but I’m sure you got the idea.
LEARN FROM CONFIDENT ROLE MODELS
Self-confidence can be learned from confident role models, who are usually people who have had success in the past, or have in the present and feel great about themselves.
You can learn from public speakers, actors or athletes on how they act on stage, or act towards reporters during interviews so they will be able to confidently speak in front of others at any time.
But the role models are not limited to celebrities and powerhouses in their fields. You can find them in people around you every day, friends, family members, neighbors, or colleagues, which can be also the best source of inspiration.
Do your best to surround yourself with positive, enthusiastic and confident people because their power is contagious. Allow their confidence and positivism to brush off on you.
Watch them, learn from them, and identify what they do differently in their lives that convey that powerful confidence no matter what they have to deal.
You do not need to become their copy, but learning from them and seeing what they do well will help you build self-confidence and feel more accomplished in your everyday life.
ACT YOUR CONFIDENCE
” Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act!” Leonard Cohen
Even the ancient Greeks believed that “acting as if” was a powerful tool that trains the mindset and provides a strong sense of self-confidence.
Actors have to do a lot of things in order to look confident on-screen. They have to know how to use their body, facial expressions, the voice, and how to speak in a way that is convincing. In the same way, you can use these tricks when you are going through your day-to-day tasks.
The more you practice behaving as if you were confident, the more your brain will be tricked into believing that it is true. You will begin to feel a sense of confidence inside that will lead you to gradually do the right things automatically.
People act the way they believe they are, so if you want to be confident then act like it. This doesn’t mean you have to go around pretend-lying about your abilities, but rather work on both feeling and executing confidence.
RECALL THE TIMES OF GLORY AND BE AGAIN THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SHIP
Self-confidence it is the key factor when it comes to facing challenges and making them opportunities for growth and not obstacles for failure.
You need to regain your self-confidence whenever you feel a lack of it, and the best way for this is to recall the times of your glory by reminding yourself of your strengths, skills, and achievements that you have done right in the past.
Reflect on your successes, and remember the power and good feelings you had about it. This will rekindle all your cylinders, because if you had confidence to succeed once, you can certainly find a new one for future endeavors.
Take back the control of self-confidence, and be again the captain of your ship. Know what you want in life and start pursuing it with full power of self-confidence. Take responsibility for your actions, take initiative, and be in the power to make changes in your life as a real captain on the sea.
I have tried to provide you with some simple and efficient tips to help you build and inspire more confidence when it comes to how you present yourself to the world.
Do you use any of these tips, or you have your own tricks?
Leave your thoughts in a comment below because it can be a source of knowledge and motivation for each of us.
Till next time….
Let Your Confidence To Be The Best Outfit That You Can Wear!
Founder of Dare & Be.